Friday, June 29, 2012

Soft Journalism

Our brain's been prodded and probed; for your enjoyment, an "uncut" list of symptoms. Any physicians in the house?

From  George Bush is a War Criminal


"The following is the uncut interview with Orlando screamo/grindcore band Abuse.


1.First off why doesn’t everybody introduce themselves,their position in the band,and their
5 favorite bands?
There are many reasons people chose not to introduce themselves. The bassist won’t introduce himself because he’s an illegal immigrant. Duffy’s position is reverse cowgirl on the offensive lines of shred. Jon is in all of Jesster’s favorite bands. 
2.What drew the members of Abuse together?What is the ultimate goal for the band?
Global politics. To reject and ameliorate Spengler’s concept of a Faustian West. 
3.How would you describe Abuse’s sound?
We would describe it vehemently, loudly, overtop of one another in constant interruption, with bad breath, likely in pants, with Broken English.
4.What are the major influences on Abuse,musical or otherwise?
Richard Dawkins’ Blind Watchmaker, death, garbage, animals (grizzly bears, giraffes, giraffes, mares, monkeys) hypocrisy, greed, terror, papas, but not mamas (they know what they’ve done).
5.What are the touring plans this year for Abuse?
We are building a waste vegetable oil bus. Donations towards this cause are greatly appreciated.


7.What was the gnarliest show Abuse ever played?
One time shit got stormy; thou got no qualms doin knife hits at a Vaccine show, gets punch’d like the loma prieta earthquake.
8.Do the members of Abuse listen to any other music than the genre they play in?
Yes
9.What are the members of Abuse view of the state of extreme underground music today?
11.If Abuse could share the stage with any 6 bands,past or present,who would they be?
The Mickey Mouse Club, The Weathermen, La Mano Negra, PFFR, Deathspell Omega, Bad Religion
12.And in closing ,what do the members of Abuse think of contemporary metalcore?Pro,Con,Indifferent?
They’re leaving out the best parts of hair metal: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bH5gmbugmxM
Please direct comments, questions, concerns, death threats, and sonnets to abusetheband@gmail.com"

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